you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
