I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
kristin has been a bad kristin
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
