Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
