why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
