Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
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