names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
