ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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