did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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