I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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