her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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