Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
