I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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