the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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