We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Randomize
