I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
