fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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