He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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