there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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