Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
