New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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