Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
