watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I see more hoeing in ur future
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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