his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize