I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
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