i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
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