She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize