his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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