Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize