and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
