Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
