i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
