Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
