my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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