so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Randomize