He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
