I feel great
I just peed on a car
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
