i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
