i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
i wish my penis had a tongue
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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