you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize