i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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