How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
