Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
He passed out mid-signature
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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