Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
4 words: hood of his car
Four minutes until I can fart!
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
