so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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