Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
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