is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
