Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
