Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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