just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
