Do you still have your period?
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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