normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
