Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
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