I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
