Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Bring me that man meat
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Randomize