Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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