I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
