my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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