She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
