I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
