yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
